"Ahhh hiii! I'm so fuckin sorry, please call me back to forgive me. I'm so fuckin' sorry!!!"
left by a boy on 1/9/2009 at 11:16 pm, 831 area code
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Loco, fur shur.
I'm not sure, yo estoy a loco, a manana OK?
left by a boy, on 1/4/2009 at 5:23pm, unknown number
for the record, my first bi-lingual drunk dial!
left by a boy, on 1/4/2009 at 5:23pm, unknown number
for the record, my first bi-lingual drunk dial!
Drop?
You got a sexy voice, I'm drunk and I just can't figure it out. Drop.
left by a boy, on 1/3/2009 at 4:14pm, unknown number
left by a boy, on 1/3/2009 at 4:14pm, unknown number
Proper, Indeed!
"Hellooooo, I'm not sure whom I'm calling, but, I hope everything is proper. Merry Christmas."
left by a girl, on 12/25/2008 at 10:52pm, 814 area code
left by a girl, on 12/25/2008 at 10:52pm, 814 area code
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Man With a Mortgage, Here!
"Hellooooooo, hellooooo!! Man with a mortgage here! Man with a broken heater!! Man with a home warranty- hopefully... Helloooooo!!! What do I do?"
left by a boy, on 10/14/2008 at 7:30pm, 856 area code
left by a boy, on 10/14/2008 at 7:30pm, 856 area code
Friday, August 29, 2008
Part of That Vow
"Hey, we just got yelled at by a priest. I didn't think priests could yell. I thought it was part of that vow they took when they wear the collar and all that? But, dude, his collar was like undone? Unbuttoned? So maybe that was it. Goooood going. I always thought priest were good looking. Rock."
left by a boy, on 08/12/2008 at 9:05pm, 610 area code
left by a boy, on 08/12/2008 at 9:05pm, 610 area code
Not THAT drunk...
"Hello, hahaha, I don't know how to do this. I'm not that drunk but your voice sounds hot and we were just with some lesbians all night. Bye!"
left by a girl, on 06/01/2008 at 2:43am, 570 area code
left by a girl, on 06/01/2008 at 2:43am, 570 area code
Storytime.
"So yes, ummm, this is a story. This is a story of a drunk person who has no idea what the fuck is going on right now. I have this one girl who has no idea what she wants to do with her life, I have another girl who just wants to fuck (all the time) and I have another girl who is my best friend in the goddamn whole wide world and she has no idea what she's doing. Do you want to be that person who stands for the friend, or wants to just get laid constantly, or stands for just being that good person. Debatable. Very debatable."
left by a boy, on 06/01/2008 at 2:39am, 570 area code
left by a boy, on 06/01/2008 at 2:39am, 570 area code
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Not Intoxicated?
a whole bunch of girls: ahahahahahawoooooo
girl 1- HEY
girl 2- Yo, yo yo yo, this could be some governmental thing, you know?
girl 1- Obama RAMA
girl 2- This is just a bunch of kids having fun, we're not intoxicated on any substances, because that is ILLEGAL.
left by a whole bunch of girls, on 4/12/2008 at 2:45am, 267 area code
girl 1- HEY
girl 2- Yo, yo yo yo, this could be some governmental thing, you know?
girl 1- Obama RAMA
girl 2- This is just a bunch of kids having fun, we're not intoxicated on any substances, because that is ILLEGAL.
left by a whole bunch of girls, on 4/12/2008 at 2:45am, 267 area code
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I don't know, do you think they were all lesbians?
Boy 1- HI! You know who it is!
Boy 2- WERE FUCKING DRUNK
Boy 1- You know who it is!!!
Boy 2- WE'RE ALL DRUNK
Boy 1- We're drunk and la la la and we're walking down route 30 and it's cause we're being responsible!!! The rest of the people who walk down route 30 are POOR, but we're not poor, we have cars right?
Boy 2- We DO!!!
Boy 1- WE DO! We're just being responsible and not driving after drinking cause it's against the law.
Boy 2- But there's no cops here.
Boy 1- Oh there's always cops here!! But there's usually cops here.
Boy 2- We would have been home by now...
Boy 1- We WOULD have been home by now should we have driven but we're being responsible---- that guy honked at us.
Boy 2- That was them.
Boy 1- He must think that we were poor.
Boy 2- No that was them!
Boy 1- Was that them?
Boy 2- He left in a pick up.
Boy 1- He did leave and come back in a pick up so that was indeed the same person- with the lesbian!!
Boy 2- I don't know, how many of them were lesbians?
Boy 1- I don't know, do you think they were all lesbians?
Boy 2- I don't know, but--
Boy 1- I don't think any of them were attracted to you
Boy 2- HEY MAN fuck your mother!!!
Boy 1- *raucous laughter* Even if they were straight they probably weren't attracted to you.
Boy 2- Aw listen man---
Boy 1- Anyway there was this band and they butchered Skynard and there was this guy and I ripped his chest hair out of his chest, WOW there was this really loud truck and I hate walking down this fuckin road lookin like we're poor, but we're not! We're being responsible!
Boy 2- Aw quite bein so judgmental, that tractor trailer is going straight for that hooker...
Boy 1- alright! fuck off! did it!! bye!
left by two boys, at 1:06 am on 3/29/2008, 856 area code
Boy 2- WERE FUCKING DRUNK
Boy 1- You know who it is!!!
Boy 2- WE'RE ALL DRUNK
Boy 1- We're drunk and la la la and we're walking down route 30 and it's cause we're being responsible!!! The rest of the people who walk down route 30 are POOR, but we're not poor, we have cars right?
Boy 2- We DO!!!
Boy 1- WE DO! We're just being responsible and not driving after drinking cause it's against the law.
Boy 2- But there's no cops here.
Boy 1- Oh there's always cops here!! But there's usually cops here.
Boy 2- We would have been home by now...
Boy 1- We WOULD have been home by now should we have driven but we're being responsible---- that guy honked at us.
Boy 2- That was them.
Boy 1- He must think that we were poor.
Boy 2- No that was them!
Boy 1- Was that them?
Boy 2- He left in a pick up.
Boy 1- He did leave and come back in a pick up so that was indeed the same person- with the lesbian!!
Boy 2- I don't know, how many of them were lesbians?
Boy 1- I don't know, do you think they were all lesbians?
Boy 2- I don't know, but--
Boy 1- I don't think any of them were attracted to you
Boy 2- HEY MAN fuck your mother!!!
Boy 1- *raucous laughter* Even if they were straight they probably weren't attracted to you.
Boy 2- Aw listen man---
Boy 1- Anyway there was this band and they butchered Skynard and there was this guy and I ripped his chest hair out of his chest, WOW there was this really loud truck and I hate walking down this fuckin road lookin like we're poor, but we're not! We're being responsible!
Boy 2- Aw quite bein so judgmental, that tractor trailer is going straight for that hooker...
Boy 1- alright! fuck off! did it!! bye!
left by two boys, at 1:06 am on 3/29/2008, 856 area code
Sunday, March 2, 2008
BEER FEST
Girl- hee hee hee ha ha ha ha ha ha
it's 3 o'clock on a Saturday I went to Beer Fest Philadelphia, 2000 and 8!
WOO!! WOOO!!! WOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I am drunk and this is to you, and some one else wants to talk to you, OUCH!
Boy- I don't know who I'm talking to- HEY! HELLO! Wicked ass drunk dial right here and it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon and we just came from beer fest we're drunk and she's drunk and I just smacked her ass
Girl- He smacked my ASS!! drunk dial damnit- OUCH, ow, wow!!! That really hurt!!!!
left by a boy and a girl, on 3/1/2008 at 3:09pm, 215 area code
(note: much of this drunk dial was sung, tune unrecognizable)
it's 3 o'clock on a Saturday I went to Beer Fest Philadelphia, 2000 and 8!
WOO!! WOOO!!! WOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I am drunk and this is to you, and some one else wants to talk to you, OUCH!
Boy- I don't know who I'm talking to- HEY! HELLO! Wicked ass drunk dial right here and it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon and we just came from beer fest we're drunk and she's drunk and I just smacked her ass
Girl- He smacked my ASS!! drunk dial damnit- OUCH, ow, wow!!! That really hurt!!!!
left by a boy and a girl, on 3/1/2008 at 3:09pm, 215 area code
(note: much of this drunk dial was sung, tune unrecognizable)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Who's a Drunk Dial?
Girl- "I'm leaving a message, cause you like told me to.
Beep, beep, beep.
Woo leave a message!
Who's a drunk dial?"
Guy- "YOUR MOM"
Girl- "Is this ****? ***** just said ****? and **** just said ****?"
Guy- "No, I said YOUR MOM!"
Girl- "***** said your mom? Story of MY LIFE, **** just high fived somebody!!"
(continued unintelligible conversation, muffled as if by a purse or pocket...)
left by a girl and some friends at 10:51pm on 2/1/2008, 215 area code
Beep, beep, beep.
Woo leave a message!
Who's a drunk dial?"
Guy- "YOUR MOM"
Girl- "Is this ****? ***** just said ****? and **** just said ****?"
Guy- "No, I said YOUR MOM!"
Girl- "***** said your mom? Story of MY LIFE, **** just high fived somebody!!"
(continued unintelligible conversation, muffled as if by a purse or pocket...)
left by a girl and some friends at 10:51pm on 2/1/2008, 215 area code
Monday, January 7, 2008
Unfortunately, Regardless...
"Unfortunately this isn't a drunk dial per se, this is more of a confession.
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.
"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.
"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'
"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.
"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.
"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."
left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.
"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.
"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'
"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.
"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.
"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."
left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)
No, I Don't Have a Tampon!
"it's not her!
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."
left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."
left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Real People
"hey,
what the fuck, who is that?
yo what's goin on?
hello?
hello?
oooooohhhh, I thought it was a real person, what the fuck?
hahahahaha
meep meep meep meep!!"
left by several confused individuals on 12/14/07 at 11:21pm, 215 area code
what the fuck, who is that?
yo what's goin on?
hello?
hello?
oooooohhhh, I thought it was a real person, what the fuck?
hahahahaha
meep meep meep meep!!"
left by several confused individuals on 12/14/07 at 11:21pm, 215 area code
Skanky Bitch
girl- "**** you skanky bitch!! I'm drunk!!! and I can't find my twenty. **** looks like a doll, **** is so much cuter than he is. Say hi! It's a drunk dial"
boy- "hello??"
left by a girl on 12/14/2007 at 11:19pm, 215 area code
boy- "hello??"
left by a girl on 12/14/2007 at 11:19pm, 215 area code
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Ta Ta
"So like you're either are completely stupid or you left your number on a macro sticker in the McGlincheys bathroom, either way you're fucking crazy, cause I'm fucking him. Ta Ta."
left by a girl on 11/25/07 at 7:56 pm, 484 area code
left by a girl on 11/25/07 at 7:56 pm, 484 area code
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Silly Fuck
"You- you're a silly fuck. You know that? Who does this shit? YOU DO. Cause you're intellectual. I love you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That's cool. G'night."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 11:20pm, 215 area code
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That's cool. G'night."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 11:20pm, 215 area code
Hot Mama
"I want to screw your mom, I have no idea why but she's hot, and she's pregnant, and she's freaking hot and her shirt says hot mama and I wanna do her in the what what in the butt butt. YEAH. That's right. What WHAT in the Butt BUTT. Giggity Goo.
"hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok bye."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:45pm, 824 area code
"hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok bye."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:45pm, 824 area code
Rita Hayworth, really?
"Hey, I'm D R U N K! I'm Rita Hayworth and I POOPED MY PANTS!!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
left by a girl (and a chorus of other individuals) on 10/26/2007 at 10:40pm, 570 area code
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
left by a girl (and a chorus of other individuals) on 10/26/2007 at 10:40pm, 570 area code
This is Wrong
"Hello! I don't know who this is, but I'm watching a cool video right now. Online?
There's a fat kid on a roller coaster right now.
"Wow. This is wrong.
"Wow. Horrible.
"And she keeps laughin at him.
"HA HA"
left by a girl on 10/26/2007 at 10:39pm, 570 area code
There's a fat kid on a roller coaster right now.
"Wow. This is wrong.
"Wow. Horrible.
"And she keeps laughin at him.
"HA HA"
left by a girl on 10/26/2007 at 10:39pm, 570 area code
Oh So Pretty
"I'm druuuunk and in a MERMAID costume!
I am pretty! Oh so pretty!!! A he hehe he hehhooo hooo.
Ah, fuck you."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:38pm, 570 area code
I am pretty! Oh so pretty!!! A he hehe he hehhooo hooo.
Ah, fuck you."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:38pm, 570 area code
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Big Bird
"I wanna know who big bird is before I'm 21!!!!!"
left by a girl on 8/11/2007 at 8:43pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 8/11/2007 at 8:43pm, 814 area code
Monday, July 2, 2007
Spanks A Lot
"I wanna spank you!"
left by an unidentifiable individual on 7/1/2007 at 12:52am, 717 area code
left by an unidentifiable individual on 7/1/2007 at 12:52am, 717 area code
Robins Egg Blue
"I was just the fuckin star on the dance floor, robins egg blue brides maids dresses, FUCK YEAH! I'm a god."
left by a girl on 6/30/2007 at 11:43pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 6/30/2007 at 11:43pm, 814 area code
That Third Stall...
"Hey it's me, ******, I think that we met the other night at that place in the west village, I don't know it was just like crazy and you know we had that little moment in the bathroom and I remember you, hehe, a little bit, giving me this number but I just wanted you to know I've never held anything like that moment in the bathroom, in that, that third stall. gosh, do you remember when that guy walked in on us? it was silly. I mean I don't remember it very WELL, but I remember you. and I hope you'll call me sometime. love always, ******."
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:20am, 401 area code
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:20am, 401 area code
I Have A Moustache...
"I don't really know if this thing beeped at me but I'm gonna talk now, there's a plane in the sky and, yar, yeah, ye-ah!! ok. hahahah ha ha ha. ****s fucking with me, but it's fun! I have a moustache, I gotta pee, um, I'm doin good, ok, I love you, bye sweetheart!!"
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:18am, 610 area code
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:18am, 610 area code
Thursday, June 21, 2007
A Tarantula Crawled Up My Anus...
"Oh my god, I just ate an entire bag of chips and a tarantula crawled up my anus and I have splinters in my clitoris and, ah, yum, mmmm, um one time I was walking to school and I saw a little school of fish and I thought this was funny because I was coming to school and they are eternally in it and I thought this was awesome, and you know what? speaking of oceans what do they call 20,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? a good fucking start mate, a good fucking start!"
left by a girl on 6/20/2007 at 11:27 pm, 641 area code
left by a girl on 6/20/2007 at 11:27 pm, 641 area code
Good Life
"HALLOOOOO! It is ME, I'm drunk! I'm calling this numbah! and my friend is not drunk and drunk dialing and naked and talking to our friend, and I am very soon going to be not talking to you anymore! YES, it is TRUE! I am done talking into your phone. good bye. good night. good life."
left by a girl (in a brittish accent) on 6/20/2007 at 11:11 pm, 207 area code
left by a girl (in a brittish accent) on 6/20/2007 at 11:11 pm, 207 area code
Fat Girl In A Tight Dress
girl- "What's up bitches? oh my god!!! I just met Seth Green and it was the best thing in my life!! we went to the robot chicken star wars party thing and seth green was there, and there were all these really cool animators, man they were the RADDEST animators! But nobody cares about the animators! We only care about Seth Green!!! And he's so cute, and so tiny, I can see into his eyes he's so little! and he gave me a hug and he remembered my name! HEY! Here's *****!!"
boy- "heeeeeeey, what's going on? yeah we just hooked up at a party just chillin out playin some pool and seth green pulled ****s dress back up cause it was falling off her chest, he was noticing her large D cup breasts and uh yeah, and we miss ****, we miss her, we want her to come out to hollywood and celebrate cause we're on hollywood boulevard and stuck in traffic-"
girl- "FAT GIRL IN A TIGHT DRESS! we just saw a fat girl in a tight dress. we're stuck on hollywood boulevard, oh and the guy from the best week ever was there, the one who used to be real fat but lost a lot of weight? and the dude, I called him asain, but he's really phillipino and ***** says he a pacific islander but I think he made it up. OH, and I got real dark, on the beach, I think maybe as dark as my dad, oh and ***** beat me so I'm covered in bruises. ok, bye que pasa!!!"
left by two individuals on 6/18/2007 at 12:37 am, 215 area code
boy- "heeeeeeey, what's going on? yeah we just hooked up at a party just chillin out playin some pool and seth green pulled ****s dress back up cause it was falling off her chest, he was noticing her large D cup breasts and uh yeah, and we miss ****, we miss her, we want her to come out to hollywood and celebrate cause we're on hollywood boulevard and stuck in traffic-"
girl- "FAT GIRL IN A TIGHT DRESS! we just saw a fat girl in a tight dress. we're stuck on hollywood boulevard, oh and the guy from the best week ever was there, the one who used to be real fat but lost a lot of weight? and the dude, I called him asain, but he's really phillipino and ***** says he a pacific islander but I think he made it up. OH, and I got real dark, on the beach, I think maybe as dark as my dad, oh and ***** beat me so I'm covered in bruises. ok, bye que pasa!!!"
left by two individuals on 6/18/2007 at 12:37 am, 215 area code
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Boyfriend?
girl 1- "hi. this is um, funny, because, I'm calling, because I'm at a party, we're about to play beer bong"
girl 2- "HEEEEEYYYYY, RAAAAAHHHHHH!"
girl 1- "I don't know what to say, haha, but I can explain to you, that I um.... I've lost my child...
hu huh, haha, I lost my child, **** wants to make out with both my boyfriend- my boyfriend?"
girl 2- "**** has a boyfriend!! **** has a boyfriend!!!"
girl 1- "my ex-boyfriend? my husband! my husband and my brother. she wants to make out with my brother, and she's the kind of girl, she likes to rob the cradle a little bit, she into little boys, it's creepy, if you know what I mean."
girl 2- "HEY!!!! I hate you I don't know what to say.... vagina. I'm going to kidnap ****s son
in the middle of the night and take him home to my apartment. Or watch her where she sleeps or I might just come over to her house and bang on her door during the day..."
left by two girls on 6/9/2007 at 6:09 pm, 814 area code
girl 2- "HEEEEEYYYYY, RAAAAAHHHHHH!"
girl 1- "I don't know what to say, haha, but I can explain to you, that I um.... I've lost my child...
hu huh, haha, I lost my child, **** wants to make out with both my boyfriend- my boyfriend?"
girl 2- "**** has a boyfriend!! **** has a boyfriend!!!"
girl 1- "my ex-boyfriend? my husband! my husband and my brother. she wants to make out with my brother, and she's the kind of girl, she likes to rob the cradle a little bit, she into little boys, it's creepy, if you know what I mean."
girl 2- "HEY!!!! I hate you I don't know what to say.... vagina. I'm going to kidnap ****s son
in the middle of the night and take him home to my apartment. Or watch her where she sleeps or I might just come over to her house and bang on her door during the day..."
left by two girls on 6/9/2007 at 6:09 pm, 814 area code
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Oh, So Sorry, Oops!
girl 1- "OH MY GOD drunk dial, are you kidding? I AM DRUNK! yes! I am DRUNK and this is another drunk person for the drunk dial"
girl 2- "um, I am also drunk, um, and I am also and there is someone grabbing my boob, and ohmy god"
pirate (girl?)- "YARR, there be pirates here!!"
girl 1- "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are standing in a row"
girl 2- "bum bum bum"
girl 1- "BIG ONES small ones Some as big as your HEAD and I don't know the rest of the WORDS"
girl (?) 3- "*fat fart noises* oh no! *squeeky fart noises* oh, so sorry, oops *fart noises* geeeeeeezzzz *long super gross fart noises* oh, oh god *fart noises....*"
left by three girls and one pirate on 5/18/2007 at 11:37 pm, 207 area code
girl 2- "um, I am also drunk, um, and I am also and there is someone grabbing my boob, and ohmy god"
pirate (girl?)- "YARR, there be pirates here!!"
girl 1- "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are standing in a row"
girl 2- "bum bum bum"
girl 1- "BIG ONES small ones Some as big as your HEAD and I don't know the rest of the WORDS"
girl (?) 3- "*fat fart noises* oh no! *squeeky fart noises* oh, so sorry, oops *fart noises* geeeeeeezzzz *long super gross fart noises* oh, oh god *fart noises....*"
left by three girls and one pirate on 5/18/2007 at 11:37 pm, 207 area code
I REPEAT
"There's a leprechaun, covered in nacho cheese! I REPEAT, there is a LEPRECHAUN covered in NACHO CHEESE! OH MY GOD, there's a leprechaun, oh my god!!!!!!"
left by a girl on 5/18/2007 at 11:34 pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 5/18/2007 at 11:34 pm, 814 area code
Rollin Down The River With My Flame Thrower
"So do you think a baby could eat another baby, I mean honestly? like if baby a was next to baby b and the cop rolled in and one baby was gone its like, the cop wouldn't be obviously "oh, like baby a ate baby b" no, there's no way in hell, no the cop would would be like "baby a couldn't eat baby b it couldn't gum it to death!" so, possibly it's kinda like a baby couldn't eat another baby. so the other night I'm chillin and there's this leprachaun and he's covered in nacho cheese and he's like "oh damn, I'm covered in nacho cheese" and then tom sawyer rolls in with a flame thrower and I'm like "tom sawyer, what are you doin with a flame thrower?" and he's like "I don't know, just chillin, rollin down the river with my flame thrower." so anyway. kinda chillin. doin a little drinkin, gonna ride my bike, gotta meet my boo bear. peace out, I'm outie five thousand!"
left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 11:33 pm, 302 area code
left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 11:33 pm, 302 area code
Red Eyed Gravy?
"This isn't the story? Cookie cookie, can I take your number? Yeah, I want the red eyed gravy! YEAHHHHHHH!!! Uh, yeah. I want the red eyed gravy, oh shit. I'm throwing up in this persons lap, and she's coming back! with a fatty fatty possum. PEACE."
left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 9:29 pm, 847 area code
left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 9:29 pm, 847 area code
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Final In The Morning
"Holy shit. I was told to drunk dial this and I'm fucking drunk, and I have a final in the morning, and that's fucking awesome. alright. goodnight."
left by a girl on 5/15/07 at 3:31 am, 908 area code
left by a girl on 5/15/07 at 3:31 am, 908 area code
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mowed the Lawn Today...
"Well this is as drunk dial as I get but it's an awesome evening an it's a beautiful day out, it's mothers day, mowed the lawn today and it's really cool, we did a barbeque and got everybody here, and it was a lot of fun. That's it's from me! No fantastic stories, love ya, bye."
left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 8:03 pm, 814 area code
left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 8:03 pm, 814 area code
MOM'S WASTED
boy- "Hey"
girl- "Hi, it's mothers day, and MOM'S WASTED"
left by two individuals on 5/13/07 at 8:02 pm, 814 area code
girl- "Hi, it's mothers day, and MOM'S WASTED"
left by two individuals on 5/13/07 at 8:02 pm, 814 area code
Imported, Not Domestic
"So this is the closest I'll ever get to a drunk dial. I'm really just very happy that I can drink champagne apparently and in the near future I'll have even more things to drink champagne about! My daughter is graduating from university, and my niece is getting married over the summer and those will be more occasions to enjoy the champagne! So this feels really really great, and champagne is wonderful... imported, not domestic. Bye!"
left by a girl on 5/12/07 at 8:01 pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 5/12/07 at 8:01 pm, 814 area code
Pad Thai and Shit
"Hi this is **** we met at the Khyber and we were totally making out in the bathroom and you let me peg you from behind and I threw up on the back of your neck, but you ate me out anyways! and I totally wanted to know if we could go to mori motos on thursday cause I have that kind of cash, we can order, what do you call it? pad thai and shit, and we'll eat foi gras, it'll be great, I really like you cause you let me do all that shit, on the first date, um, yeah, so I think that means we're soul mates! so call me back honey, bye!"
left by a girl on 5/13/07 at 2:23 am, 267 area code
left by a girl on 5/13/07 at 2:23 am, 267 area code
And Then He Blew Me Afterwards...
"Yo, what's goin on? I just got into a car accident, and when I got out the kid I hit punched me in the face, and then he blew me afterwards. I don't know why, that kind of freaked me out. Anyway as I was leaving some other dude who hit be from behind he punched me in the face too! So I think it's time for me to go home, I'm a little fucked up, I just thought I'd give ya a ring and letcha know!"
left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 2:21 am, 267 area code
left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 2:21 am, 267 area code
Really Sucks.
"Man, life sucks. really sucks. that's all I have to say, basically. alright."
left by a girl on 5/8/07 at 9:51 pm, 267 area code
left by a girl on 5/8/07 at 9:51 pm, 267 area code
Monday, May 7, 2007
No Thanks!
boy- "HI ****, suck my fucking ass hole! Say HI!"
girl- "HEY! get off the fucking phone!"
left by two individuals on 5/6/07 at 1:15 am, 856 area code
girl- "HEY! get off the fucking phone!"
left by two individuals on 5/6/07 at 1:15 am, 856 area code
Eat Shit!
girl 1- "eat shit!"
girl 2- "um.... someone tell me what's going on?"
left by two girls on 5/4/07 at 11:18 pm, 609 area code
girl 2- "um.... someone tell me what's going on?"
left by two girls on 5/4/07 at 11:18 pm, 609 area code
Bubbly Skin.
girl- "YO what's up biznatch? we DRUNK!"
boy- "Hi **** *******, uh yes, this is **** **********, I want you to make those same ********* you made last semester of my face, I really want bubbly skin, I would totally exploit that and love it, oh wait"
girl- "it makes me hot baby!"
boy- "so if you could put that on my face"
girl- "oh we love you baby! say something! say something!"
boy- (purrs/growls)
left by at least four individuals on 4/30/07 at 11:58 pm, unknown number
boy- "Hi **** *******, uh yes, this is **** **********, I want you to make those same ********* you made last semester of my face, I really want bubbly skin, I would totally exploit that and love it, oh wait"
girl- "it makes me hot baby!"
boy- "so if you could put that on my face"
girl- "oh we love you baby! say something! say something!"
boy- (purrs/growls)
left by at least four individuals on 4/30/07 at 11:58 pm, unknown number
Fuckin Sick!
"ah hahaha hu hu hu, aw, you're fuckin sick... ahhhhhhh"
left by a boy on 4/28/07 at 5:28 pm, 570 area code
left by a boy on 4/28/07 at 5:28 pm, 570 area code
Under Pressure
"People, I miss january, um about two years? almost? duh nu nu nu na, under cover? what is that song? it's like under cover? UNDER PRESSURE? Hahahahahaha, I'm always thinking under cover cause we saw an undercover cop, which is the second time we've seen an undercover cop leaving this place! (whispers) I gotta go, bye!"
left by a girl on 4/28/07 at 2:16 am, 856 area code
left by a girl on 4/28/07 at 2:16 am, 856 area code
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Bike Ride?
"unnnnhhhhh, (windy noises, some traffic, and gears) eh heh, yeah!"
left by a boy on 4/24/07 at 9:42 pm, 267 area code
left by a boy on 4/24/07 at 9:42 pm, 267 area code
PHENOMENA!!!
"um, hello, ****, my name is PHENOMENA, mahnna, mahnna, I think it is.... anyway... come on, all I want to say is, I don't know, I danced alot tonight- don't tell my boyfriend, because, dance, I danced, oh my god look at them!!! oh my god, sh!! don't look at them, don't make eye contact! oh my god! oh my god!!! we almost got, she was an under cover cop, but we're ok, we're ok! give me a call later! I love you! ok!!!"
left by a girl on 4/21/07 at 2:17 am, 856 area code
left by a girl on 4/21/07 at 2:17 am, 856 area code
...?
"unnnnnnh, unnnnnnnnggggggggghhh!!! oh! aaaaahahahhhh!!!!"
left by a boy? on 4/21/07 at 1:26 am, 302 area code
left by a boy? on 4/21/07 at 1:26 am, 302 area code
Making Me Horny
"hehehehee, hahahaa, you're talking too much, my face is turning red!!! you can't look at me when I'm leaving this!! stop it, stop it!! we, weee, wee, I can't help it!!! It's making me horny!! ok, I'll call you later, ok, I love you, bye!!!!"
left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:37 pm, 856 area code
left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:37 pm, 856 area code
First Time Ever...
"**** *********, I'm sitting at the bar with you for the first time ever, you look fucking hot as SHI-IT, it's ****** ********, I love you. Have a good night. Goodbye."
left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:36 pm, 215 area code
left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:36 pm, 215 area code
Blackmail or Something...
"oh my god **** you're so fucking HOT!!!! It's ******, ******* told me to drunk dial you so I called DRUNK and anyways I'm sure you'll need this as black mail or something, but who knows, what the fuck, I don't give a shit, SO, hope to hear from you whenever you're fucking drunk, XXX-XXX-XXXX ok BYEEEEEE"
left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:35 pm, 410 area code
left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:35 pm, 410 area code
Keep 'Em Coming!!!
"yo what's up motha fucka we drunk!!"
"YEAH SON!!!!!"
"yeah homie!!!"
"ow OW!!"
left by two girls, on 4/18/07 at 9:29 pm, from an unknown number
"YEAH SON!!!!!"
"yeah homie!!!"
"ow OW!!"
left by two girls, on 4/18/07 at 9:29 pm, from an unknown number
Friday, March 30, 2007
Yeah Boy!!!
"Hehehehe... i'm not drunk but this is funny!!!"
left by a girl on 3/26/07 at 10:53 pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 3/26/07 at 10:53 pm, 814 area code
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Waiting for Calls...
HEY! nobody has called me in a drunken stupor yet, so there's nothing interesting to read! just call 215-253-3015, remember, sobriety is not required!
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