Unfortunately, Regardless...

"Unfortunately this isn't a drunk dial per se, this is more of a confession.
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.

"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.

"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'

"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.

"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.

"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."

left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)

...

"WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 1:51 am, 267 area code

No, I Don't Have a Tampon!

"it's not her!
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."

left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code