Oh, So Sorry, Oops!

girl 1- "OH MY GOD drunk dial, are you kidding? I AM DRUNK! yes! I am DRUNK and this is another drunk person for the drunk dial"

girl 2- "um, I am also drunk, um, and I am also and there is someone grabbing my boob, and ohmy god"

pirate (girl?)- "YARR, there be pirates here!!"

girl 1- "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are standing in a row"

girl 2- "bum bum bum"

girl 1- "BIG ONES small ones Some as big as your HEAD and I don't know the rest of the WORDS"

girl (?) 3- "*fat fart noises* oh no! *squeeky fart noises* oh, so sorry, oops *fart noises* geeeeeeezzzz *long super gross fart noises* oh, oh god *fart noises....*"

left by three girls and one pirate on 5/18/2007 at 11:37 pm, 207 area code

I REPEAT

"There's a leprechaun, covered in nacho cheese! I REPEAT, there is a LEPRECHAUN covered in NACHO CHEESE! OH MY GOD, there's a leprechaun, oh my god!!!!!!"

left by a girl on 5/18/2007 at 11:34 pm, 814 area code

Rollin Down The River With My Flame Thrower

"So do you think a baby could eat another baby, I mean honestly? like if baby a was next to baby b and the cop rolled in and one baby was gone its like, the cop wouldn't be obviously "oh, like baby a ate baby b" no, there's no way in hell, no the cop would would be like "baby a couldn't eat baby b it couldn't gum it to death!" so, possibly it's kinda like a baby couldn't eat another baby. so the other night I'm chillin and there's this leprachaun and he's covered in nacho cheese and he's like "oh damn, I'm covered in nacho cheese" and then tom sawyer rolls in with a flame thrower and I'm like "tom sawyer, what are you doin with a flame thrower?" and he's like "I don't know, just chillin, rollin down the river with my flame thrower." so anyway. kinda chillin. doin a little drinkin, gonna ride my bike, gotta meet my boo bear. peace out, I'm outie five thousand!"

left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 11:33 pm, 302 area code

Red Eyed Gravy?

"This isn't the story? Cookie cookie, can I take your number? Yeah, I want the red eyed gravy! YEAHHHHHHH!!! Uh, yeah. I want the red eyed gravy, oh shit. I'm throwing up in this persons lap, and she's coming back! with a fatty fatty possum. PEACE."

left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 9:29 pm, 847 area code

Final In The Morning

"Holy shit. I was told to drunk dial this and I'm fucking drunk, and I have a final in the morning, and that's fucking awesome. alright. goodnight."

left by a girl on 5/15/07 at 3:31 am, 908 area code

Mowed the Lawn Today...

"Well this is as drunk dial as I get but it's an awesome evening an it's a beautiful day out, it's mothers day, mowed the lawn today and it's really cool, we did a barbeque and got everybody here, and it was a lot of fun. That's it's from me! No fantastic stories, love ya, bye."

left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 8:03 pm, 814 area code

MOM'S WASTED

boy- "Hey"
girl- "Hi, it's mothers day, and MOM'S WASTED"

left by two individuals on 5/13/07 at 8:02 pm, 814 area code

Imported, Not Domestic

"So this is the closest I'll ever get to a drunk dial. I'm really just very happy that I can drink champagne apparently and in the near future I'll have even more things to drink champagne about! My daughter is graduating from university, and my niece is getting married over the summer and those will be more occasions to enjoy the champagne! So this feels really really great, and champagne is wonderful... imported, not domestic. Bye!"

left by a girl on 5/12/07 at 8:01 pm, 814 area code

Pad Thai and Shit

"Hi this is **** we met at the Khyber and we were totally making out in the bathroom and you let me peg you from behind and I threw up on the back of your neck, but you ate me out anyways! and I totally wanted to know if we could go to mori motos on thursday cause I have that kind of cash, we can order, what do you call it? pad thai and shit, and we'll eat foi gras, it'll be great, I really like you cause you let me do all that shit, on the first date, um, yeah, so I think that means we're soul mates! so call me back honey, bye!"

left by a girl on 5/13/07 at 2:23 am, 267 area code

And Then He Blew Me Afterwards...

"Yo, what's goin on? I just got into a car accident, and when I got out the kid I hit punched me in the face, and then he blew me afterwards. I don't know why, that kind of freaked me out. Anyway as I was leaving some other dude who hit be from behind he punched me in the face too! So I think it's time for me to go home, I'm a little fucked up, I just thought I'd give ya a ring and letcha know!"

left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 2:21 am, 267 area code

Really Sucks.

"Man, life sucks. really sucks. that's all I have to say, basically. alright."

left by a girl on 5/8/07 at 9:51 pm, 267 area code

Ew...

"uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, my buttholes wet!"

left by a boy on 5/6/07 at 1:16 am, 856 area code

No Thanks!

boy- "HI ****, suck my fucking ass hole! Say HI!"

girl- "HEY! get off the fucking phone!"

left by two individuals on 5/6/07 at 1:15 am, 856 area code

Eat Shit!

girl 1- "eat shit!"

girl 2- "um.... someone tell me what's going on?"

left by two girls on 5/4/07 at 11:18 pm, 609 area code

Bubbly Skin.

girl- "YO what's up biznatch? we DRUNK!"

boy- "Hi **** *******, uh yes, this is **** **********, I want you to make those same ********* you made last semester of my face, I really want bubbly skin, I would totally exploit that and love it, oh wait"

girl- "it makes me hot baby!"

boy- "so if you could put that on my face"

girl- "oh we love you baby! say something! say something!"

boy- (purrs/growls)

left by at least four individuals on 4/30/07 at 11:58 pm, unknown number

Fuckin Sick!

"ah hahaha hu hu hu, aw, you're fuckin sick... ahhhhhhh"

left by a boy on 4/28/07 at 5:28 pm, 570 area code

Under Pressure

"People, I miss january, um about two years? almost? duh nu nu nu na, under cover? what is that song? it's like under cover? UNDER PRESSURE? Hahahahahaha, I'm always thinking under cover cause we saw an undercover cop, which is the second time we've seen an undercover cop leaving this place! (whispers) I gotta go, bye!"

left by a girl on 4/28/07 at 2:16 am, 856 area code