Real People

"hey,

what the fuck, who is that?

yo what's goin on?

hello?

hello?

oooooohhhh, I thought it was a real person, what the fuck?

hahahahaha

meep meep meep meep!!"

left by several confused individuals on 12/14/07 at 11:21pm, 215 area code

Skanky Bitch

girl- "**** you skanky bitch!! I'm drunk!!! and I can't find my twenty. **** looks like a doll, **** is so much cuter than he is. Say hi! It's a drunk dial"

boy- "hello??"


left by a girl on 12/14/2007 at 11:19pm, 215 area code

Ta Ta

"So like you're either are completely stupid or you left your number on a macro sticker in the McGlincheys bathroom, either way you're fucking crazy, cause I'm fucking him. Ta Ta."

left by a girl on 11/25/07 at 7:56 pm, 484 area code

Silly Fuck

"You- you're a silly fuck. You know that? Who does this shit? YOU DO. Cause you're intellectual. I love you.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's cool. G'night."


left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 11:20pm, 215 area code

Hot Mama

"I want to screw your mom, I have no idea why but she's hot, and she's pregnant, and she's freaking hot and her shirt says hot mama and I wanna do her in the what what in the butt butt. YEAH. That's right. What WHAT in the Butt BUTT. Giggity Goo.

"hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok bye."

left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:45pm, 824 area code

Rita Hayworth, really?

"Hey, I'm D R U N K! I'm Rita Hayworth and I POOPED MY PANTS!!"

"I POOPED MY PANTS!"

"I POOPED MY PANTS!"

"I POOPED MY PANTS!"

"I POOPED MY PANTS!"

"I POOPED MY PANTS!"

left by a girl (and a chorus of other individuals) on 10/26/2007 at 10:40pm, 570 area code

This is Wrong

"Hello! I don't know who this is, but I'm watching a cool video right now. Online?
There's a fat kid on a roller coaster right now.

"Wow. This is wrong.

"Wow. Horrible.

"And she keeps laughin at him.

"HA HA"

left by a girl on 10/26/2007 at 10:39pm, 570 area code

Oh So Pretty

"I'm druuuunk and in a MERMAID costume!
I am pretty! Oh so pretty!!! A he hehe he hehhooo hooo.
Ah, fuck you."

left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:38pm, 570 area code

Big Bird

"I wanna know who big bird is before I'm 21!!!!!"

left by a girl on 8/11/2007 at 8:43pm, 814 area code

Spanks A Lot

"I wanna spank you!"

left by an unidentifiable individual on 7/1/2007 at 12:52am, 717 area code

Robins Egg Blue

"I was just the fuckin star on the dance floor, robins egg blue brides maids dresses, FUCK YEAH! I'm a god."

left by a girl on 6/30/2007 at 11:43pm, 814 area code

That Third Stall...

"Hey it's me, ******, I think that we met the other night at that place in the west village, I don't know it was just like crazy and you know we had that little moment in the bathroom and I remember you, hehe, a little bit, giving me this number but I just wanted you to know I've never held anything like that moment in the bathroom, in that, that third stall. gosh, do you remember when that guy walked in on us? it was silly. I mean I don't remember it very WELL, but I remember you. and I hope you'll call me sometime. love always, ******."

left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:20am, 401 area code

I Have A Moustache...

"I don't really know if this thing beeped at me but I'm gonna talk now, there's a plane in the sky and, yar, yeah, ye-ah!! ok. hahahah ha ha ha. ****s fucking with me, but it's fun! I have a moustache, I gotta pee, um, I'm doin good, ok, I love you, bye sweetheart!!"

left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:18am, 610 area code

A Tarantula Crawled Up My Anus...

"Oh my god, I just ate an entire bag of chips and a tarantula crawled up my anus and I have splinters in my clitoris and, ah, yum, mmmm, um one time I was walking to school and I saw a little school of fish and I thought this was funny because I was coming to school and they are eternally in it and I thought this was awesome, and you know what? speaking of oceans what do they call 20,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? a good fucking start mate, a good fucking start!"

left by a girl on 6/20/2007 at 11:27 pm, 641 area code

Good Life

"HALLOOOOO! It is ME, I'm drunk! I'm calling this numbah! and my friend is not drunk and drunk dialing and naked and talking to our friend, and I am very soon going to be not talking to you anymore! YES, it is TRUE! I am done talking into your phone. good bye. good night. good life."

left by a girl (in a brittish accent) on 6/20/2007 at 11:11 pm, 207 area code

Fat Girl In A Tight Dress

girl- "What's up bitches? oh my god!!! I just met Seth Green and it was the best thing in my life!! we went to the robot chicken star wars party thing and seth green was there, and there were all these really cool animators, man they were the RADDEST animators! But nobody cares about the animators! We only care about Seth Green!!! And he's so cute, and so tiny, I can see into his eyes he's so little! and he gave me a hug and he remembered my name! HEY! Here's *****!!"

boy- "heeeeeeey, what's going on? yeah we just hooked up at a party just chillin out playin some pool and seth green pulled ****s dress back up cause it was falling off her chest, he was noticing her large D cup breasts and uh yeah, and we miss ****, we miss her, we want her to come out to hollywood and celebrate cause we're on hollywood boulevard and stuck in traffic-"

girl- "FAT GIRL IN A TIGHT DRESS! we just saw a fat girl in a tight dress. we're stuck on hollywood boulevard, oh and the guy from the best week ever was there, the one who used to be real fat but lost a lot of weight? and the dude, I called him asain, but he's really phillipino and ***** says he a pacific islander but I think he made it up. OH, and I got real dark, on the beach, I think maybe as dark as my dad, oh and ***** beat me so I'm covered in bruises. ok, bye que pasa!!!"

left by two individuals on 6/18/2007 at 12:37 am, 215 area code

Boyfriend?

girl 1- "hi. this is um, funny, because, I'm calling, because I'm at a party, we're about to play beer bong"

girl 2- "HEEEEEYYYYY, RAAAAAHHHHHH!"

girl 1- "I don't know what to say, haha, but I can explain to you, that I um.... I've lost my child...
hu huh, haha, I lost my child, **** wants to make out with both my boyfriend- my boyfriend?"

girl 2- "**** has a boyfriend!! **** has a boyfriend!!!"

girl 1- "my ex-boyfriend? my husband! my husband and my brother. she wants to make out with my brother, and she's the kind of girl, she likes to rob the cradle a little bit, she into little boys, it's creepy, if you know what I mean."

girl 2- "HEY!!!! I hate you I don't know what to say.... vagina. I'm going to kidnap ****s son
in the middle of the night and take him home to my apartment. Or watch her where she sleeps or I might just come over to her house and bang on her door during the day..."

left by two girls on 6/9/2007 at 6:09 pm, 814 area code

Oh, So Sorry, Oops!

girl 1- "OH MY GOD drunk dial, are you kidding? I AM DRUNK! yes! I am DRUNK and this is another drunk person for the drunk dial"

girl 2- "um, I am also drunk, um, and I am also and there is someone grabbing my boob, and ohmy god"

pirate (girl?)- "YARR, there be pirates here!!"

girl 1- "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are standing in a row"

girl 2- "bum bum bum"

girl 1- "BIG ONES small ones Some as big as your HEAD and I don't know the rest of the WORDS"

girl (?) 3- "*fat fart noises* oh no! *squeeky fart noises* oh, so sorry, oops *fart noises* geeeeeeezzzz *long super gross fart noises* oh, oh god *fart noises....*"

left by three girls and one pirate on 5/18/2007 at 11:37 pm, 207 area code

I REPEAT

"There's a leprechaun, covered in nacho cheese! I REPEAT, there is a LEPRECHAUN covered in NACHO CHEESE! OH MY GOD, there's a leprechaun, oh my god!!!!!!"

left by a girl on 5/18/2007 at 11:34 pm, 814 area code

Rollin Down The River With My Flame Thrower

"So do you think a baby could eat another baby, I mean honestly? like if baby a was next to baby b and the cop rolled in and one baby was gone its like, the cop wouldn't be obviously "oh, like baby a ate baby b" no, there's no way in hell, no the cop would would be like "baby a couldn't eat baby b it couldn't gum it to death!" so, possibly it's kinda like a baby couldn't eat another baby. so the other night I'm chillin and there's this leprachaun and he's covered in nacho cheese and he's like "oh damn, I'm covered in nacho cheese" and then tom sawyer rolls in with a flame thrower and I'm like "tom sawyer, what are you doin with a flame thrower?" and he's like "I don't know, just chillin, rollin down the river with my flame thrower." so anyway. kinda chillin. doin a little drinkin, gonna ride my bike, gotta meet my boo bear. peace out, I'm outie five thousand!"

left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 11:33 pm, 302 area code

Red Eyed Gravy?

"This isn't the story? Cookie cookie, can I take your number? Yeah, I want the red eyed gravy! YEAHHHHHHH!!! Uh, yeah. I want the red eyed gravy, oh shit. I'm throwing up in this persons lap, and she's coming back! with a fatty fatty possum. PEACE."

left by a boy on 5/18/2007 at 9:29 pm, 847 area code

Final In The Morning

"Holy shit. I was told to drunk dial this and I'm fucking drunk, and I have a final in the morning, and that's fucking awesome. alright. goodnight."

left by a girl on 5/15/07 at 3:31 am, 908 area code

Mowed the Lawn Today...

"Well this is as drunk dial as I get but it's an awesome evening an it's a beautiful day out, it's mothers day, mowed the lawn today and it's really cool, we did a barbeque and got everybody here, and it was a lot of fun. That's it's from me! No fantastic stories, love ya, bye."

left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 8:03 pm, 814 area code

MOM'S WASTED

boy- "Hey"
girl- "Hi, it's mothers day, and MOM'S WASTED"

left by two individuals on 5/13/07 at 8:02 pm, 814 area code

Imported, Not Domestic

"So this is the closest I'll ever get to a drunk dial. I'm really just very happy that I can drink champagne apparently and in the near future I'll have even more things to drink champagne about! My daughter is graduating from university, and my niece is getting married over the summer and those will be more occasions to enjoy the champagne! So this feels really really great, and champagne is wonderful... imported, not domestic. Bye!"

left by a girl on 5/12/07 at 8:01 pm, 814 area code

Pad Thai and Shit

"Hi this is **** we met at the Khyber and we were totally making out in the bathroom and you let me peg you from behind and I threw up on the back of your neck, but you ate me out anyways! and I totally wanted to know if we could go to mori motos on thursday cause I have that kind of cash, we can order, what do you call it? pad thai and shit, and we'll eat foi gras, it'll be great, I really like you cause you let me do all that shit, on the first date, um, yeah, so I think that means we're soul mates! so call me back honey, bye!"

left by a girl on 5/13/07 at 2:23 am, 267 area code

And Then He Blew Me Afterwards...

"Yo, what's goin on? I just got into a car accident, and when I got out the kid I hit punched me in the face, and then he blew me afterwards. I don't know why, that kind of freaked me out. Anyway as I was leaving some other dude who hit be from behind he punched me in the face too! So I think it's time for me to go home, I'm a little fucked up, I just thought I'd give ya a ring and letcha know!"

left by a boy on 5/13/07 at 2:21 am, 267 area code

Really Sucks.

"Man, life sucks. really sucks. that's all I have to say, basically. alright."

left by a girl on 5/8/07 at 9:51 pm, 267 area code

Ew...

"uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, my buttholes wet!"

left by a boy on 5/6/07 at 1:16 am, 856 area code

No Thanks!

boy- "HI ****, suck my fucking ass hole! Say HI!"

girl- "HEY! get off the fucking phone!"

left by two individuals on 5/6/07 at 1:15 am, 856 area code

Eat Shit!

girl 1- "eat shit!"

girl 2- "um.... someone tell me what's going on?"

left by two girls on 5/4/07 at 11:18 pm, 609 area code

Bubbly Skin.

girl- "YO what's up biznatch? we DRUNK!"

boy- "Hi **** *******, uh yes, this is **** **********, I want you to make those same ********* you made last semester of my face, I really want bubbly skin, I would totally exploit that and love it, oh wait"

girl- "it makes me hot baby!"

boy- "so if you could put that on my face"

girl- "oh we love you baby! say something! say something!"

boy- (purrs/growls)

left by at least four individuals on 4/30/07 at 11:58 pm, unknown number

Fuckin Sick!

"ah hahaha hu hu hu, aw, you're fuckin sick... ahhhhhhh"

left by a boy on 4/28/07 at 5:28 pm, 570 area code

Under Pressure

"People, I miss january, um about two years? almost? duh nu nu nu na, under cover? what is that song? it's like under cover? UNDER PRESSURE? Hahahahahaha, I'm always thinking under cover cause we saw an undercover cop, which is the second time we've seen an undercover cop leaving this place! (whispers) I gotta go, bye!"

left by a girl on 4/28/07 at 2:16 am, 856 area code

Short, Sweet, And To the Point

"in the boobs!"

left by a boy on 4/25/07 at 10:16 am, 732 area code

Bike Ride?

"unnnnhhhhh, (windy noises, some traffic, and gears) eh heh, yeah!"

left by a boy on 4/24/07 at 9:42 pm, 267 area code

PHENOMENA!!!

"um, hello, ****, my name is PHENOMENA, mahnna, mahnna, I think it is.... anyway... come on, all I want to say is, I don't know, I danced alot tonight- don't tell my boyfriend, because, dance, I danced, oh my god look at them!!! oh my god, sh!! don't look at them, don't make eye contact! oh my god! oh my god!!! we almost got, she was an under cover cop, but we're ok, we're ok! give me a call later! I love you! ok!!!"

left by a girl on 4/21/07 at 2:17 am, 856 area code

...?

"unnnnnnh, unnnnnnnnggggggggghhh!!! oh! aaaaahahahhhh!!!!"

left by a boy? on 4/21/07 at 1:26 am, 302 area code

Making Me Horny

"hehehehee, hahahaa, you're talking too much, my face is turning red!!! you can't look at me when I'm leaving this!! stop it, stop it!! we, weee, wee, I can't help it!!! It's making me horny!! ok, I'll call you later, ok, I love you, bye!!!!"


left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:37 pm, 856 area code

First Time Ever...

"**** *********, I'm sitting at the bar with you for the first time ever, you look fucking hot as SHI-IT, it's ****** ********, I love you. Have a good night. Goodbye."


left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:36 pm, 215 area code

Blackmail or Something...

"oh my god **** you're so fucking HOT!!!! It's ******, ******* told me to drunk dial you so I called DRUNK and anyways I'm sure you'll need this as black mail or something, but who knows, what the fuck, I don't give a shit, SO, hope to hear from you whenever you're fucking drunk, XXX-XXX-XXXX ok BYEEEEEE"

left by a girl on 4/18/07 at 9:35 pm, 410 area code

Keep 'Em Coming!!!

"yo what's up motha fucka we drunk!!"

"YEAH SON!!!!!"

"yeah homie!!!"

"ow OW!!"

left by two girls, on 4/18/07 at 9:29 pm, from an unknown number

Yeah Boy!!!

"Hehehehe... i'm not drunk but this is funny!!!"

left by a girl on 3/26/07 at 10:53 pm, 814 area code

Waiting for Calls...

HEY! nobody has called me in a drunken stupor yet, so there's nothing interesting to read! just call 215-253-3015, remember, sobriety is not required!