"Hellooooooo, hellooooo!! Man with a mortgage here! Man with a broken heater!! Man with a home warranty- hopefully... Helloooooo!!! What do I do?"
left by a boy, on 10/14/2008 at 7:30pm, 856 area code
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Part of That Vow
"Hey, we just got yelled at by a priest. I didn't think priests could yell. I thought it was part of that vow they took when they wear the collar and all that? But, dude, his collar was like undone? Unbuttoned? So maybe that was it. Goooood going. I always thought priest were good looking. Rock."
left by a boy, on 08/12/2008 at 9:05pm, 610 area code
left by a boy, on 08/12/2008 at 9:05pm, 610 area code
Not THAT drunk...
"Hello, hahaha, I don't know how to do this. I'm not that drunk but your voice sounds hot and we were just with some lesbians all night. Bye!"
left by a girl, on 06/01/2008 at 2:43am, 570 area code
left by a girl, on 06/01/2008 at 2:43am, 570 area code
Storytime.
"So yes, ummm, this is a story. This is a story of a drunk person who has no idea what the fuck is going on right now. I have this one girl who has no idea what she wants to do with her life, I have another girl who just wants to fuck (all the time) and I have another girl who is my best friend in the goddamn whole wide world and she has no idea what she's doing. Do you want to be that person who stands for the friend, or wants to just get laid constantly, or stands for just being that good person. Debatable. Very debatable."
left by a boy, on 06/01/2008 at 2:39am, 570 area code
left by a boy, on 06/01/2008 at 2:39am, 570 area code
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Not Intoxicated?
a whole bunch of girls: ahahahahahawoooooo
girl 1- HEY
girl 2- Yo, yo yo yo, this could be some governmental thing, you know?
girl 1- Obama RAMA
girl 2- This is just a bunch of kids having fun, we're not intoxicated on any substances, because that is ILLEGAL.
left by a whole bunch of girls, on 4/12/2008 at 2:45am, 267 area code
girl 1- HEY
girl 2- Yo, yo yo yo, this could be some governmental thing, you know?
girl 1- Obama RAMA
girl 2- This is just a bunch of kids having fun, we're not intoxicated on any substances, because that is ILLEGAL.
left by a whole bunch of girls, on 4/12/2008 at 2:45am, 267 area code
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I don't know, do you think they were all lesbians?
Boy 1- HI! You know who it is!
Boy 2- WERE FUCKING DRUNK
Boy 1- You know who it is!!!
Boy 2- WE'RE ALL DRUNK
Boy 1- We're drunk and la la la and we're walking down route 30 and it's cause we're being responsible!!! The rest of the people who walk down route 30 are POOR, but we're not poor, we have cars right?
Boy 2- We DO!!!
Boy 1- WE DO! We're just being responsible and not driving after drinking cause it's against the law.
Boy 2- But there's no cops here.
Boy 1- Oh there's always cops here!! But there's usually cops here.
Boy 2- We would have been home by now...
Boy 1- We WOULD have been home by now should we have driven but we're being responsible---- that guy honked at us.
Boy 2- That was them.
Boy 1- He must think that we were poor.
Boy 2- No that was them!
Boy 1- Was that them?
Boy 2- He left in a pick up.
Boy 1- He did leave and come back in a pick up so that was indeed the same person- with the lesbian!!
Boy 2- I don't know, how many of them were lesbians?
Boy 1- I don't know, do you think they were all lesbians?
Boy 2- I don't know, but--
Boy 1- I don't think any of them were attracted to you
Boy 2- HEY MAN fuck your mother!!!
Boy 1- *raucous laughter* Even if they were straight they probably weren't attracted to you.
Boy 2- Aw listen man---
Boy 1- Anyway there was this band and they butchered Skynard and there was this guy and I ripped his chest hair out of his chest, WOW there was this really loud truck and I hate walking down this fuckin road lookin like we're poor, but we're not! We're being responsible!
Boy 2- Aw quite bein so judgmental, that tractor trailer is going straight for that hooker...
Boy 1- alright! fuck off! did it!! bye!
left by two boys, at 1:06 am on 3/29/2008, 856 area code
Boy 2- WERE FUCKING DRUNK
Boy 1- You know who it is!!!
Boy 2- WE'RE ALL DRUNK
Boy 1- We're drunk and la la la and we're walking down route 30 and it's cause we're being responsible!!! The rest of the people who walk down route 30 are POOR, but we're not poor, we have cars right?
Boy 2- We DO!!!
Boy 1- WE DO! We're just being responsible and not driving after drinking cause it's against the law.
Boy 2- But there's no cops here.
Boy 1- Oh there's always cops here!! But there's usually cops here.
Boy 2- We would have been home by now...
Boy 1- We WOULD have been home by now should we have driven but we're being responsible---- that guy honked at us.
Boy 2- That was them.
Boy 1- He must think that we were poor.
Boy 2- No that was them!
Boy 1- Was that them?
Boy 2- He left in a pick up.
Boy 1- He did leave and come back in a pick up so that was indeed the same person- with the lesbian!!
Boy 2- I don't know, how many of them were lesbians?
Boy 1- I don't know, do you think they were all lesbians?
Boy 2- I don't know, but--
Boy 1- I don't think any of them were attracted to you
Boy 2- HEY MAN fuck your mother!!!
Boy 1- *raucous laughter* Even if they were straight they probably weren't attracted to you.
Boy 2- Aw listen man---
Boy 1- Anyway there was this band and they butchered Skynard and there was this guy and I ripped his chest hair out of his chest, WOW there was this really loud truck and I hate walking down this fuckin road lookin like we're poor, but we're not! We're being responsible!
Boy 2- Aw quite bein so judgmental, that tractor trailer is going straight for that hooker...
Boy 1- alright! fuck off! did it!! bye!
left by two boys, at 1:06 am on 3/29/2008, 856 area code
Sunday, March 2, 2008
BEER FEST
Girl- hee hee hee ha ha ha ha ha ha
it's 3 o'clock on a Saturday I went to Beer Fest Philadelphia, 2000 and 8!
WOO!! WOOO!!! WOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I am drunk and this is to you, and some one else wants to talk to you, OUCH!
Boy- I don't know who I'm talking to- HEY! HELLO! Wicked ass drunk dial right here and it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon and we just came from beer fest we're drunk and she's drunk and I just smacked her ass
Girl- He smacked my ASS!! drunk dial damnit- OUCH, ow, wow!!! That really hurt!!!!
left by a boy and a girl, on 3/1/2008 at 3:09pm, 215 area code
(note: much of this drunk dial was sung, tune unrecognizable)
it's 3 o'clock on a Saturday I went to Beer Fest Philadelphia, 2000 and 8!
WOO!! WOOO!!! WOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I am drunk and this is to you, and some one else wants to talk to you, OUCH!
Boy- I don't know who I'm talking to- HEY! HELLO! Wicked ass drunk dial right here and it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon and we just came from beer fest we're drunk and she's drunk and I just smacked her ass
Girl- He smacked my ASS!! drunk dial damnit- OUCH, ow, wow!!! That really hurt!!!!
left by a boy and a girl, on 3/1/2008 at 3:09pm, 215 area code
(note: much of this drunk dial was sung, tune unrecognizable)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Who's a Drunk Dial?
Girl- "I'm leaving a message, cause you like told me to.
Beep, beep, beep.
Woo leave a message!
Who's a drunk dial?"
Guy- "YOUR MOM"
Girl- "Is this ****? ***** just said ****? and **** just said ****?"
Guy- "No, I said YOUR MOM!"
Girl- "***** said your mom? Story of MY LIFE, **** just high fived somebody!!"
(continued unintelligible conversation, muffled as if by a purse or pocket...)
left by a girl and some friends at 10:51pm on 2/1/2008, 215 area code
Beep, beep, beep.
Woo leave a message!
Who's a drunk dial?"
Guy- "YOUR MOM"
Girl- "Is this ****? ***** just said ****? and **** just said ****?"
Guy- "No, I said YOUR MOM!"
Girl- "***** said your mom? Story of MY LIFE, **** just high fived somebody!!"
(continued unintelligible conversation, muffled as if by a purse or pocket...)
left by a girl and some friends at 10:51pm on 2/1/2008, 215 area code
Monday, January 7, 2008
Unfortunately, Regardless...
"Unfortunately this isn't a drunk dial per se, this is more of a confession.
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.
"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.
"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'
"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.
"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.
"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."
left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.
"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.
"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'
"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.
"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.
"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."
left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)
No, I Don't Have a Tampon!
"it's not her!
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."
left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."
left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code
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