Girl- "I'm leaving a message, cause you like told me to.
Beep, beep, beep.
Woo leave a message!
Who's a drunk dial?"
Guy- "YOUR MOM"
Girl- "Is this ****? ***** just said ****? and **** just said ****?"
Guy- "No, I said YOUR MOM!"
Girl- "***** said your mom? Story of MY LIFE, **** just high fived somebody!!"
(continued unintelligible conversation, muffled as if by a purse or pocket...)
left by a girl and some friends at 10:51pm on 2/1/2008, 215 area code
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
Unfortunately, Regardless...
"Unfortunately this isn't a drunk dial per se, this is more of a confession.
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.
"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.
"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'
"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.
"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.
"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."
left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)
I just tonight unfortunately I've been persecuted as one of those who has been, how can we say, unequal to the household. Unfortunately I've been very equal. I've done what I can to persevere, to create a household in which we can all live in. Unfortunately there are some of us who think that this is not possible. So I'm calling tonight to say that I am one of those people.
I was one of those in the household to create a magnitude of living in which we can all persevere in. Unfortunately there are most of us who cannot live that, in which case brings us to tonight, in which how can we say there are those who don't understand those guidelines of living.
"I apologize most dearly for what has happened. Unfortunately it was not I who has brought upon this catastrophe, it was those who have lived in this household. What is one to say? It is my fault? No. Regardless. I believe it is those who live in this household, only because they are oblivious, because they do not understand the guidelines of living. For them it is do what you will, to other it is do what others will. And what the others do is they live to the guidelines of those who have lived before them.
"Now for many of you you may think 'oh, what is he talking about?'
"Now me, I persevere and go into what we shall say a most dedicated guideline to most of us and I will say, nay, what you need to do is you need to see inside yourself, you need to see that there's more, there's a lot more to what people need to do. People need to actually live for things. Now what these people live for is different, of course for every person, but unfortunately what those people live for may be good, and may be bad, but for the most part it is bad because they have no idea, they HAVE no idea what to live for until they actually find out what they need to do. So. I leave it at that.
"Is it that their standard of living beyond those is shall we say "indescretion" of those who have a lower standard of living? I don't know. I think that's for everyone else to decide. But what I leave to this message is that a person needs to know what they need. They need to know exactly what will get them through and they need to know that this, this crazy little tangled up world that we call call life, regardless of the whole little fucked up piece of individualism, it leads us to one point: that we all need to decide whether or not we are with what we believe in or against what we believe in. Because there are many of us that don't understand exactly what we believe in. Now regardless it may be hard to understand, there's a lot of different things that we can think about right now. We can think about whether or not we want to follow our troops, follow our beliefs or go against those. I don't know. I'd follow them, I believed in them, I've gone against them. It's led me to this, where I am right now, but what do you do after that? What do you do after that? I think that's one of the main mysteries that we need to figure out. Very individual. It's hard to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. But you know, in the same sense, what you do for yourself may in fact help others.
"Yeah. I suppose that's good enough for this drunk as it's gonna get for now... Perhaps we shall get another revelation at another time."
left by a boy on 12/15/2007 at 4:04 am, 570 area code
(note: this message is by far the longest ever received, clocking in at 8 minutes and 24 seconds)
No, I Don't Have a Tampon!
"it's not her!
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."
left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code
listen!
fuck!
it's not her!
so what am I saying?
no, am I talking to a message now?
is someone talking?
no, am I leaving a message now?
I love dick
I love penis in my Vagina
with fried onions
where did those maggots come from?
no I don't have a tampon
I've never done this before."
left by a girl on 12/15/2007 at 12:58 am, 856 area code
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Real People
"hey,
what the fuck, who is that?
yo what's goin on?
hello?
hello?
oooooohhhh, I thought it was a real person, what the fuck?
hahahahaha
meep meep meep meep!!"
left by several confused individuals on 12/14/07 at 11:21pm, 215 area code
what the fuck, who is that?
yo what's goin on?
hello?
hello?
oooooohhhh, I thought it was a real person, what the fuck?
hahahahaha
meep meep meep meep!!"
left by several confused individuals on 12/14/07 at 11:21pm, 215 area code
Skanky Bitch
girl- "**** you skanky bitch!! I'm drunk!!! and I can't find my twenty. **** looks like a doll, **** is so much cuter than he is. Say hi! It's a drunk dial"
boy- "hello??"
left by a girl on 12/14/2007 at 11:19pm, 215 area code
boy- "hello??"
left by a girl on 12/14/2007 at 11:19pm, 215 area code
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Ta Ta
"So like you're either are completely stupid or you left your number on a macro sticker in the McGlincheys bathroom, either way you're fucking crazy, cause I'm fucking him. Ta Ta."
left by a girl on 11/25/07 at 7:56 pm, 484 area code
left by a girl on 11/25/07 at 7:56 pm, 484 area code
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Silly Fuck
"You- you're a silly fuck. You know that? Who does this shit? YOU DO. Cause you're intellectual. I love you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That's cool. G'night."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 11:20pm, 215 area code
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That's cool. G'night."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 11:20pm, 215 area code
Hot Mama
"I want to screw your mom, I have no idea why but she's hot, and she's pregnant, and she's freaking hot and her shirt says hot mama and I wanna do her in the what what in the butt butt. YEAH. That's right. What WHAT in the Butt BUTT. Giggity Goo.
"hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok bye."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:45pm, 824 area code
"hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok bye."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:45pm, 824 area code
Rita Hayworth, really?
"Hey, I'm D R U N K! I'm Rita Hayworth and I POOPED MY PANTS!!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
left by a girl (and a chorus of other individuals) on 10/26/2007 at 10:40pm, 570 area code
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
"I POOPED MY PANTS!"
left by a girl (and a chorus of other individuals) on 10/26/2007 at 10:40pm, 570 area code
This is Wrong
"Hello! I don't know who this is, but I'm watching a cool video right now. Online?
There's a fat kid on a roller coaster right now.
"Wow. This is wrong.
"Wow. Horrible.
"And she keeps laughin at him.
"HA HA"
left by a girl on 10/26/2007 at 10:39pm, 570 area code
There's a fat kid on a roller coaster right now.
"Wow. This is wrong.
"Wow. Horrible.
"And she keeps laughin at him.
"HA HA"
left by a girl on 10/26/2007 at 10:39pm, 570 area code
Oh So Pretty
"I'm druuuunk and in a MERMAID costume!
I am pretty! Oh so pretty!!! A he hehe he hehhooo hooo.
Ah, fuck you."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:38pm, 570 area code
I am pretty! Oh so pretty!!! A he hehe he hehhooo hooo.
Ah, fuck you."
left by a boy on 10/26/2007 at 10:38pm, 570 area code
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Big Bird
"I wanna know who big bird is before I'm 21!!!!!"
left by a girl on 8/11/2007 at 8:43pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 8/11/2007 at 8:43pm, 814 area code
Monday, July 2, 2007
Spanks A Lot
"I wanna spank you!"
left by an unidentifiable individual on 7/1/2007 at 12:52am, 717 area code
left by an unidentifiable individual on 7/1/2007 at 12:52am, 717 area code
Robins Egg Blue
"I was just the fuckin star on the dance floor, robins egg blue brides maids dresses, FUCK YEAH! I'm a god."
left by a girl on 6/30/2007 at 11:43pm, 814 area code
left by a girl on 6/30/2007 at 11:43pm, 814 area code
That Third Stall...
"Hey it's me, ******, I think that we met the other night at that place in the west village, I don't know it was just like crazy and you know we had that little moment in the bathroom and I remember you, hehe, a little bit, giving me this number but I just wanted you to know I've never held anything like that moment in the bathroom, in that, that third stall. gosh, do you remember when that guy walked in on us? it was silly. I mean I don't remember it very WELL, but I remember you. and I hope you'll call me sometime. love always, ******."
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:20am, 401 area code
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:20am, 401 area code
I Have A Moustache...
"I don't really know if this thing beeped at me but I'm gonna talk now, there's a plane in the sky and, yar, yeah, ye-ah!! ok. hahahah ha ha ha. ****s fucking with me, but it's fun! I have a moustache, I gotta pee, um, I'm doin good, ok, I love you, bye sweetheart!!"
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:18am, 610 area code
left by a boy on 6/30/2007 at 1:18am, 610 area code
Thursday, June 21, 2007
A Tarantula Crawled Up My Anus...
"Oh my god, I just ate an entire bag of chips and a tarantula crawled up my anus and I have splinters in my clitoris and, ah, yum, mmmm, um one time I was walking to school and I saw a little school of fish and I thought this was funny because I was coming to school and they are eternally in it and I thought this was awesome, and you know what? speaking of oceans what do they call 20,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? a good fucking start mate, a good fucking start!"
left by a girl on 6/20/2007 at 11:27 pm, 641 area code
left by a girl on 6/20/2007 at 11:27 pm, 641 area code
Good Life
"HALLOOOOO! It is ME, I'm drunk! I'm calling this numbah! and my friend is not drunk and drunk dialing and naked and talking to our friend, and I am very soon going to be not talking to you anymore! YES, it is TRUE! I am done talking into your phone. good bye. good night. good life."
left by a girl (in a brittish accent) on 6/20/2007 at 11:11 pm, 207 area code
left by a girl (in a brittish accent) on 6/20/2007 at 11:11 pm, 207 area code
Fat Girl In A Tight Dress
girl- "What's up bitches? oh my god!!! I just met Seth Green and it was the best thing in my life!! we went to the robot chicken star wars party thing and seth green was there, and there were all these really cool animators, man they were the RADDEST animators! But nobody cares about the animators! We only care about Seth Green!!! And he's so cute, and so tiny, I can see into his eyes he's so little! and he gave me a hug and he remembered my name! HEY! Here's *****!!"
boy- "heeeeeeey, what's going on? yeah we just hooked up at a party just chillin out playin some pool and seth green pulled ****s dress back up cause it was falling off her chest, he was noticing her large D cup breasts and uh yeah, and we miss ****, we miss her, we want her to come out to hollywood and celebrate cause we're on hollywood boulevard and stuck in traffic-"
girl- "FAT GIRL IN A TIGHT DRESS! we just saw a fat girl in a tight dress. we're stuck on hollywood boulevard, oh and the guy from the best week ever was there, the one who used to be real fat but lost a lot of weight? and the dude, I called him asain, but he's really phillipino and ***** says he a pacific islander but I think he made it up. OH, and I got real dark, on the beach, I think maybe as dark as my dad, oh and ***** beat me so I'm covered in bruises. ok, bye que pasa!!!"
left by two individuals on 6/18/2007 at 12:37 am, 215 area code
boy- "heeeeeeey, what's going on? yeah we just hooked up at a party just chillin out playin some pool and seth green pulled ****s dress back up cause it was falling off her chest, he was noticing her large D cup breasts and uh yeah, and we miss ****, we miss her, we want her to come out to hollywood and celebrate cause we're on hollywood boulevard and stuck in traffic-"
girl- "FAT GIRL IN A TIGHT DRESS! we just saw a fat girl in a tight dress. we're stuck on hollywood boulevard, oh and the guy from the best week ever was there, the one who used to be real fat but lost a lot of weight? and the dude, I called him asain, but he's really phillipino and ***** says he a pacific islander but I think he made it up. OH, and I got real dark, on the beach, I think maybe as dark as my dad, oh and ***** beat me so I'm covered in bruises. ok, bye que pasa!!!"
left by two individuals on 6/18/2007 at 12:37 am, 215 area code
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